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Deviant for 8 Years
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dreamer's disease
restlessness runs
like a fever in my veins
it rages in
my body
and makes me ill
with the need to breathe
something new
i cannot see you
for the stars in my eyes
cannot feel you
for the possibilities on my fingertips
my gaze is wide
and blue like the sky
it will drop behind the horizon
to travel all the world
i am scattered in pieces
all over the universe
and lacing the galaxies
i do not need to breathe
because i am the air and everything it feeds
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
pray with sinning lips
i am sorry my heart is weak
i'm sorry that some days
you search in my
blue eyes and yet you
never find me
i am sorry if
it makes you feel
but you do not know
the texture of my thorns
or how i pray that
they will not make you bleed
as they shoot forth
from under my skin i pray
they will not cut you
open like me
you know
god left my heart
long ago
but i still pray
for you
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 1 0
born for you
your name is calling me home,
pulling my bones to obey
my blood sighs for you
and my skin,
my skin was not thick enough
you got beneath;
you dug yourself
into my core
and there you came to stay
you bend my spine into
shapes i thought it'd never take,
bend my lips into a
smile and glaze my
eyes with tears
i wasn't born
prepared for this,
i wasn't born for you
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
i know you
i saw the poison in your heart, dearest.
there is evil in your blood and
a sadness in your bones
i know
you don't cry with your eyes;
your tears are in your chest and
in your mouth and
they come rolling forth from under your tounge,
pouring out into your cramping hands
i know you can't breathe from the ones
that found their way down
your lungs like those cigarettes you smoke,
i know what it is like to
choke on things you can no longer name
i saw your heart and i
saw myself in you
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
so touch me now
hard, wasting daylight
falls like a fist
on my features and beats
down against your
sleepless complexion
in the dark
you are a
baby fox cradled
by my chest, breathing
the heat of every star you swallowed
as you chased across
the cieling of galaxies
cut through illusions
peel the skin off
my dreaming bones
until nothing
remains but the blurred patterns
of our sanctuary,
etched on your fingertips
we touch like nightfall,
a soft pitterpatter of rain
or a promise
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
this is why my mind splits
like the ends of my hair
it is because life is a cruel lover
and i am a cheater
i sleep with smoke and i'm in love
with scars and blood
and emptiness
that crushes the air out of lungs
i'm in love with
chests torn open and
guts spilling
onto the floor and
forgive me
for i am in love with sickness
the kind that only breathes
in the ugliest corners of a heart
i promised myself to life
but i am in love
with death and all his brothers
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
Mature content
white trash ugly :iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 1 5
blood is thicker
i'd throw up if i thought
the words would come up
along with the rest,
you know i'd sleep
if i thought i
might escape
and i would run if i thought i
could ever hide
but i can't close
my heart to this,
like i closed my
eyes on the truth
like you closed me in
your nightmares
you are in my blood,
not like some feeling i
cannot shake or
like a disease,
even though i have
comapared you to
both in the past
no, you and i,
we are of the same flesh
and nowdays we
are of the same ghosts
i tried to run from
once, but you
caught up and you
caught me
do not tell me you're
sorry, i am sorry
for us both
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 1 0
girl like that
i can make you all the promises
in this world, but i
will keep none
of your secrets,
i kiss alot and always
tell, you know
i will break everything,
because breaking
is all i know
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
i am under the sun
sprawled out against
the concrete reality
it is pressed against
my spine, pressed
sharp into my skin
it's a hollow ache
between lungs
inbetween breaths
and yes, i am really
that fucking empty
self-hate will burn
bones to dust and
turn to dirt in my blood
disgust like a fever
i can't sweat out
like an itch in my
every nerve and
nothing was
ever as ugly
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 1 0
say it right
your name is a
wish and it slips
off my tounge
like i slip off
the edge
(a little too often)
you peel the ghosts
off my skin and breathe
into my frozen lungs
soft hands unraveling
loose threads and
leaving me in
nothing but my bones
i'd let you in any
day, but only into
my bed because
that's as far as
anyone goes
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
dreaming in cliches
you are a poem i always carry
with me, folded neatly
beneath my skin
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 4
out of operation
the screen on the inside of my skull
is blinking violent red, screaming
at the top of its lungs.
i shut my eyes and shut it out,
shutting down,
weak hands clenching into fragile fists
i can't fight this
and i'm forgetting why i should breathe.
you see,
there is a bird
in my chest.
a crow caught in the machinery.
clawing at my throat, fighting to crack open my ribs
and escape through the broken bones.
so excuse me for a second, while i'm
coughing up black feathers and
spitting chaos.
excuse me for just a moment,
while i'm trying to get my body to function
without a proper heart.
excuse me,
for being such a mess.
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
just don't smile
i am scared
senseless, my breath
shattering like glass
against solid fear and i
sow my heart shut
just to be on the safe side
still, my elbows are
weak and shaking
and my knees are melting to a puddle and
being soaked up by the earth
your crooked teeth and
slanted eyes
has the joints in my spine
and i am a pile of jellyfish-girl
helplessly at your feet
i am scared that you might mean too much
i'm scared that i don't mean enough
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0
if the drugs don't work
that is when you open up your veins and let it flow
that is when you paint the bathroom floor
the same color of nonchalance
as your too-kissable lips
(that is when you are done crying)
and this
is where you stop pretending to feel anything at all
this is where you realise that
you don't care
this is where you stop breathing
(and this is how you die)
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 1 2
like mother, like daughter
most days i think i hate you
but sometimes i see clearly and i wonder
how do you get by?
'cause i know you've been turning a thousand nights
into dawn and never once
dared to dream
and i know you drink down the entire bottle
to set free everything
that has been eating on your sanity
since you were a kid in the mid seventies
you blame your mother for your waking nightmares
just like i blame you
and most days you hate her
but sometimes you see clearly and you wonder
how did she get by?
:iconsunshinelaughter:SunshineLaughter 0 0


State Fair by HeatherHowellArt State Fair :iconheatherhowellart:HeatherHowellArt 14 10 Soiree by Malahicha Soiree :iconmalahicha:Malahicha 79 5 Pixels 03 by monguz Pixels 03 :iconmonguz:monguz 118 24 abstract 907045 by pledent abstract 907045 :iconpledent:pledent 4 0 abstract 7890301 by pledent abstract 7890301 :iconpledent:pledent 8 0 abstract 1811801 by pledent abstract 1811801 :iconpledent:pledent 5 1 wild flowers 45 by pledent wild flowers 45 :iconpledent:pledent 114 15 abstract watercolour 4110213 by pledent abstract watercolour 4110213 :iconpledent:pledent 39 3 abstract watercolor 908061 by pledent abstract watercolor 908061 :iconpledent:pledent 19 1 Abstract 4451507 by pledent Abstract 4451507 :iconpledent:pledent 25 5 Blue Still Life 4561 by pledent Blue Still Life 4561 :iconpledent:pledent 58 3 Aqua 512101 by pledent Aqua 512101 :iconpledent:pledent 23 1 Aqua 712052 by pledent Aqua 712052 :iconpledent:pledent 36 2 colorful Contemporary by rafi talby by RT3D colorful Contemporary by rafi talby :iconrt3d:RT3D 415 59 City Lights by rafi talby by RT3D City Lights by rafi talby :iconrt3d:RT3D 4 2 spread white by rafi talby by RT3D spread white by rafi talby :iconrt3d:RT3D 3 0



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cogwurx Featured By Owner May 17, 2017  Professional Interface Designer
Thank you for the :+devwatch:

grr9 Featured By Owner May 14, 2017
Many thanks for the love! :)
a1waS Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Thanks for the watch! :D
RebbieChan Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favorite on "Bloodied Lips" :D
CJWilde Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you for the :+favlove: on A Lover Torn. :aww:
proudeyesneverlie Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2011
thank you :heart::heart: :)
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011   Writer
thank you for the favorites while I was away.
Poetrymann Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2011  Professional Writer
SoftPoison Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for the fav :D
kamcalste Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: on "Defiance". :)
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